Pick Me Boy

The modern dating lexicon moves faster than the thumb of a playboy indiscriminately swiping to lớn the right.

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With all the simps out there love bombing or breadcrumbing only to lớn be ghosted or cookie jarred it can be difficult to lớn even know what people are talking about.

To understand dating trends you have khổng lồ keep in touch with the ever-evolving glossary of modern dating terms.

The newest viral term is a pick me boy.

What Is A Pick Me Boy?

A pick-me-boy is a guy who fishes for compliments by using self-deprecating humor. It’s something in-between a simp, a narcissist, and that shy kid in the back of class that would always ask his friends lớn ask girls out for him.

He’ll say things like…



I’m surprised you matched with me. Most girls are just interested in players.

Here’s a pretty illustrative conversation between a pick me boy và his unwitting romantic target:

But PMBs don’t just use self-deprecation khổng lồ flirt, they also shout about their feminist viewpoints as a way khổng lồ prove they’re better than other guys. 

They’ll talk about how other guys are superficial, are misogynistic, và are just bad dudes. They on the other hand have morals, are woke, and won’t stop telling you how they won’t stop fighting until the gender pay gap is closed.

This is all well và good but it all comes off as a bit of a show.

The last trait pick me boys nói qua is that they fall in love quicker than you’d expect. This is probably because they struggle khổng lồ connect with women, don’t have a whole lot of confidence, & incessantly poke women with their rods as they fish for comments.

Here’s a pick me boy in action.

Why Women Don’t like Pick Me Boys

Here are some traits most pick me boys share:

JealousyLow on confidenceApproval seekingFake feminismVocal about their insecurity

None of these are features women look for in men.

Women want confident, fun guys that are sure of themselves and don’t need khổng lồ constantly be validated by others.

Here are the main reasons women run from these types of men.

Super Anxious

Cool, calm, & collected.

These three words describe every woman’s dream man.

Pick me boys however are anxiously attached, diffident, and insecure.

They’re too inside their own heads. Instead of being able lớn focus on the conversation or her needs, they’re too busy being self-conscious.

They wonder if they’re too nice, too ugly, too whatever trait that may turn her off and leave him permanently alone.

These men can’t ever size a bond if they’re only having internal conversations.

Too Needy

Everyone needs validation from others.

We look for validation at work, at home, và in our romantic relationships.

A little validation once in a while can be a nice ego boost, but looking for validation constantly is a sign of low confidence.

Pick me boys have fragile egos in need of constant coddling. They fish for compliments và will keep their rods in the water until something bites. This is a major turn-off, especially in the early courting phase. 

PMBs have to lớn be in contact all the time.

Soft Manipulators

They may not realize what they’re doing but pick me boys are expert manipulators.

They vì so by guilt-tripping their way into approval.

What’s so interesting about PMBs is that red flags are often mistaken for green ones.

PMBs are typically straightforward and honest about their feelings. Instead of locking them away, they’re willing to lớn share và talk about how they feel.

The issue is that they typically feel as though the world owes them something for being nice guys. When their manipulation tactics don’t work, they may get frustrated và end things abruptly.

How Not to lớn Be a Pick Me Boy

Changing your pick me boy ways means changing your habits.

To vày so, let’s focus on a few key areas.

1) Find Some Confidence

Men with high levels of confidence don’t self-deprecate.

They don’t speak ill of themselves, beg for compliments, or let that little voice of self-doubt in their head use an outdoor voice inside.

But how exactly vị you get confidence?

For starters, focus on what you have going on.

Instead of speaking down to lớn yourself start speaking up.

Think for a moment about what your best qualities are.

Maybe you’re a good friend, maybe you listen khổng lồ others, maybe you just have a really good fashion sense.

Whatever the case may be, muse on these positive traits.

It’s likely you’ll find that you’re a caring, kind, feminist.

Those are all good traits. What matters is how you use them. Don’t pontificate on feminism in a self-righteous way. And hey, that’s great that you’re kind, but being kind doesn’t guarantee she wants a relationship with you.

Keep these traits in kiểm tra while acknowledging others.

2) Stop Comparing Yourself lớn Others

This is one of my favorite memes.


Chances are you’re insecure because you’re always comparing yourself to others.

I wish we could all flip a switch and stop this but we can’t.

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No matter how good our situation is we’ll always be envious of others, and believe it or not, they’ll envy us.

It’s this toxic urge lớn constantly compare ourselves khổng lồ others that makes us insecure và throws our thắm thiết relationships in turmoil.

It leads you khổng lồ believe you’re never enough, because of course you aren’t. How can you ever feel lượt thích you’re enough when you’re constantly comparing yourself khổng lồ men that appear better looking, smarter, stronger, more masculine, etc.

More than anyone else you belittle yourself.

Do me a favor.

Only say khổng lồ yourself what you would say lớn a child.

Don’t yell at yourself, gọi yourself stupid, or names.

Be kind to yourself.


The best way khổng lồ overcome your pick me boy urges is khổng lồ MegaDate.

MegaDating is all about dating women simultaneously.

It’s about diving into the dating pool và seeing just how deep it really is.

Sure there are always more fish in the sea. But you don’t really know how many there are until you strap on a tank of oxygen & explore the great unknown.

That’s what MegaDating is.

It’s the oxygen tank, the flippers, the wet suit, và the goggles.

Pick me boys manipulate women & use PMB tactics khổng lồ gain an edge.

They think this is their best chance to lớn court a woman.

By quickly exposing yourself khổng lồ a plethora of women you’ll see this isn’t necessary khổng lồ court your next flame.

Finding The Right Women

You might be wondering how you’ll find all these compatible women when you’re MegaDating.

When you enroll in our Dating Decoded program I’ll teach you the ins and outs of meeting women.

To give you a taste of what’s to lớn come talk for a moment about what it takes lớn meet women and fill up your dating funnel.

You see, it’s all about tapping our social channels.

Meeting women is easy if you know where khổng lồ look.

Here are a few places you can find women:

Through friendsPartiesDating appsSocial/activity groupsMeetupsFacebook groupsCo-ed sportsReadings

I strongly urge all clients to lớn sign up for 5 dating apps.

I say this because every tiện ích speaks to lớn a different milieu. Some apps are for one-night stands, others are for dog lovers, while others are for those seeking a long-term relationship.

Signing up for 5 apps ensures that you’re casting a wide net. Not to mention that if you’re not in a major đô thị you may swipe through all potential matches in a day if you’re only using one app.

Find out which app is right for you. 

But not everyone believes in finding love online.

There are other ways to find love.

Apart from meeting women through friends, parties, và work, I recommend meeting women outside of the romantic zone.

The best way lớn meet compatible women is khổng lồ meet them doing what you love.

Maybe you love billiards, hiking, or rock climbing. Maybe you love building apps, cryptocurrency, or pokemon. Whatever the case may be there are social groups out there on Meetup và Facebook for everyone.

Join a group & hang with your people.

Chances are there will be single women in your group ready to mingle.

And hey, if there aren’t women there, expanding your social circle is still a good idea as your new friends no doubt have single women for you lớn meet.

Ultimately, Dating Decoded is everything you need khổng lồ find the relationship of your dreams.

It includes lifetime access to my weekly coaching calls, lifetime access to lớn my online curriculum, a private members-only online community, access khổng lồ mock dates, discounted photoshoots, và much more.

Wrap-up: What Is A Pick Me Boy?

To recap, a pick me boy can be three things.

A man that uses self-deprecation to lớn flirt and elicit compliments.

A guy who uses self-righteous nice-guy or feminist statements to differentiate himself from those other guys.

A man (or rather boy) who manipulates women into going out with him.

If you’re a pick me boy, there are ways to lớn turn these habits around.

Book a 1-on-1 Zoom điện thoại tư vấn with myself or a thành viên of my team so that we can talk about your goals và figure out if Dating Decoded is the right fit for you.